Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 24 April 2015

image for Plastic surgeons gave Angelina stick-on nipple falsies says Syrian ambassador
UN special rapporteur for Hollywood angst on up-and-coming things

New York - They were the only real point of interest at the United Nations today when the Hollywood actress turned up to lecture officials on lipgloss and trout-pout following her controversial mastectomy op.

The monotony of the session was soon disrupted when an eagle eyed UN envoy praised reconstructive surgeons for giving Ms Jolie-Tits - uh, Jolie-Pitt! - some nipple falsies to stick inside her post-op bra.

"We like Angelina's cleavage alright," ambassador Kamel Musapha-Pee tweeted, "that's why they pick her for special envoy, not for any brains."

Ms Jolie is a UN special rappoteur for Hollywood angst on up-and-coming things.

Next week she's flying to war-torn Syria to adopt a wayward Jihadi and bring him back home mto downton Los Angeles - as long as a sponsorship deal with the Clinton Foundation comes up with the secret $5m sponsorship fee.

A pair of latex nursing nipple guards retails at arounf $2.50.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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