Written by Don Grapper
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Friday, 24 April 2015

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Bluesman Henry Johnson Jr. Says Cheating Wife Who Fired Him Took All His Money Too

Braxton, Mississippi - Henry Johnson Jr., a Mississippi Delta blues singer, was fired from his job at an auto tire shop by his own wife today, who then had sex with another man she hired to replace him.

"The other man had no auto tire shop experience at all," lamented the downcast Johnson. "In fact, the car he drove in on had bald tires."

Johnson's wife manages the tire shop in the small town in rural Mississippi. She gave no reason for the firing other than citing her husband's race as a factor.

"He's black," she said.

100 percent of the residents of the small Mississippi town are black, as is the man Johnson's wife hired to replace her husband.

Johnson said he's been drinking a lot of wine and whiskey to cope with the sorrow of walking in on his wife having sex with the new employee on the cot in her dusty office.

"I came to get my check and there they were," he said.

Johnson said he's known nothing but trouble his whole life and counted his wife's betrayal and loss of his livelihood as just another bummer in a long string of bad luck.

Johnson says he went to the soup kitchen for some dinner because he had no money, but the kitchen was closed. He said he is always hungry and drunk.

He also said he recently broke a guitar string.

"My life sucks," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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