Written by D P Whitehead
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Saturday, 4 April 2015

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No Pizza For You - HETRO Prick!

The gay owners of an Indiana pizza shop are refusing to serve hetrosexual customers.

The news comes a little after a week Indiana passed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which critics say would allow businesses to openly discriminate against anyone the fuck they liked.

Speaking to a local news channel on Friday, Johnny Elliot, the owner of Johnnies Pizza's said: 'If a hetrosexual couple came in and wanted us to provide pizzas for their lunch, dinner, or whatever; we would have to say no, fuck off, we don't serve straights. It is against OUR views, however we would serve them a calzone as to be honest, they are hard to sell, we don't mind serving them calzones.'

According to MTZ Elliot tried to clarify his views, saying he would never refuse to serve gay customers, they are welcome but as a homosexual he disagrees with straight marriage, and so would refuse to serve a mixed-sex couple.

The pizza joint has been in operation for nine years. The interior of the old-fashioned eatery is adorned with photographs of Elton John, Liberace and Glenn Beck.

Just outside the pizzeria, a sign states that the staff begin each morning with a 'quick blow job and maybe a fisting'

'We are a Gay establishment,' Elliot confirmed, but pointed out that their business practices are not biased.

'We're not discriminating against anyone, just straight people, that's just our belief and anyone has the right to believe in anything,' insisted Elliot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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