Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Friday, 3 April 2015

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DR. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen. Dr. Billingsgate, who is one of the most distinguished forensic taxidermists in the world, had a microphone shoved in front of his face by a woman reporter, who later revealed herself as a man, and was asked if he had ever stuffed a lesbian or gay in his small shop.

Billingsgate, smelling a rat (Rattus and related genera), replied that he has never refused service to anyone, regardless of race, sexual orientation or specie.

When asked if he would offer his services to a gay or lesbian couple who wished to be stuffed during their wedding ceremony, he replied that, "because I am a card carrying neo-anthropologist, I cannot anticipate ever being asked to do this. However, if the couple were dead prior to their marriage, I would have no problem performing taxidermy on them as a professional courtesy, posthumously, of course."

PS: At this time, only the states of New York and California have boycotted Doctor Billingsgate for his ambivalent stand. Out of professional courtesy, The Distinguished Fellowship of Embalmers have respectfully declined to take a side in this issue. The Collective Council of Lesbians, Gays, Transsexuals and Indeterminate Species to be Named Later, have yet to decipher the hidden meaning of Dr. Billingsgate's response.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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