Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Iraq, Civil War

Wednesday, 29 November 2006

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If this isn't a civil war, I don't know what is - Ware

Hollywood, D.C. - With car bombs going off in neighborhoods throughout Iraq like corn popping in a kettle, NBC gingerly stepped forward and announced that the insurgency in Iraq was now a civil war; much to the wrath of the White House.

Soon to be swift boated by the White House, NBC is holding firm to the announcement, explaining that Shiites and Sunnis were using violence to gain supremacy and the government could not control the situation. Last week, CNN correspondent Michael Ware, reporting from the middle of Baghdad said, "If this isn't a civil war, I don't know what is."

The President is clinging to a 31% approval rating and civil war status to what started out as a search for weapons of mass destruction, might continue to erode support for the Iraqi war; chipping away at his approval ratings; further shredding the Mission Accomplished banner.

Who will contribute a half billion dollars for the planned George W. Bush presidential library when his approval rating drops to 9%? Pundits theorize that Bush could end up with a library that resembles his pet goat's barn. His think tank, (all presidential libraries have one) could be reduced to a think cup.

Without a gun, car bomb or land mine, comic Michael Richards armed with only words, could have single-handedly started a civil war in Los Angeles while performing at the Laugh Factory. Following a racist tirade at a group of African Americans, those targeted responded by saying, "That was uncalled for," making their parents proud.

Like model Kate Moss, Richards was snapped with a cell phone, and only after the tirade was made public, did the apologies begin to flow: he wasn't a racist; he was stressed out; doesn't know where those words came from. "The devil make me say it?"

Witnessing what the word 'lacaca' did for the career of Presidential hopeful, former Senator George Allen, Michael Richards career may also soon be toast. Residuals from Seinfeld might take a dip. The presidential library? A goat pen. The think tank? Sam's bar in Crawford, Texas.

Mission accomplished.

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