Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Wednesday, 25 February 2015

image for Keystone Pipeline Passage Requires Obama To Have Bunghole Re-bored
Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters that the only way that the Keystone Pipeline would be passed is if it first goes through President Obama.

One intrepid reporter asked if the President's bunghole was big enough to allow such passage. Since most of the drive-by media is either an asshole or has one, it became obvious to reporters that the pipeline was much too large to be shoved up someone's bunghole, even one as big as the President's. Unless, perchance, Mr. Obama has his re-bored by the White House proctologist; a highly unlikely but not impossible operation, it seems doubtful that the Keystone Pipeline will ever be built.

Dr. Major Amos Hoople, head of the LaFontaine Medical College and classmate of Dr. Viscount Billingsgate, recently expressed his thoughts on such an operation: "Even though I would never personally volunteer to have my own bunghole re-bored, with sufficient anesthesia, I would not hesitate to perform the operation on President Obama." Asked if the anesthesia would be for the President or for himself, he replied:

"EGAD FAP! KAFF, KAFF, GULP, GLUG, GLUG! Good question, young man. I would never perform such an odoriferous operation without sufficiently gassing myself and the patient before hand. I do wish the President well if he decides to have the Keystone Pipeline built....KAFF, KAFF, WHEEZE, GULP, GLUG, GLUG.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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