Written by antoine
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Topics: Murder, Technology

Sunday, 22 February 2015

The most powerful computer in the world has been indicted in the US for murder. It is alleged that the machine killed a janitor who worked at IBM. Jilberto Einstein took the job at IBM last Christmas.

The pumped-up calculator, known as Deep Blue-ish Brown is the 6th generation super computer of IBM's Deep Blue series. The second in the series, nicknamed 'Deep Blue 2' made the computers famous when it beat Russian Grand Master, Gary Kasparov at chess, becoming in effect, a Grand Master-beater.

Mr Einstein's body was discovered slumped at a terminal plugged directly into Deep Bluish. He had a bullet wound in the side of his head and was pronounced dead at the scene.

It is believed he was playing games with the computer when he was supposed to be dusting it.

There was no-one else in the IBM building except two armed security personnel, who have both been cleared of any wrongdoing after police watched CCTV which showed them sat at their security kiosk all night. They have since been eliminated from the enquiries.

L.A. Police Dept homicide detective Aseenam Duet told us that he found the case 'very strange indeed.' Initially the only evidence they found was a printout on reams of paper coming from a printer directly connected to Deep Bluish. Detective Duet said,"We have arrested Deep Bluish with a view to a successful prosecution for murder in the first degree of Mister Einstein following a lengthy probe with the co-operation of IBM. A weapon was seized after lengthy negotiations (with the computer). Given the size of the machine it has been placed under 'house-arrest' or should I say 'office-arrest' heh heh" continued Det. Duet. The twice decorated officer added."we understand that bail will not be sought, though we don't think it will try to abscond...heh heh"

The printout is said to have been a single line repeated over and over again - 'Yeah - who da winner now m***herFuc*a - popped a cap in yo ass!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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