Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Al Gore, Satellites

Sunday, 8 February 2015

image for GoreSat ready to blast off into space
It came to him in a dream 17 years ago...launch a satellite beaming live porn!

Cape Canaveral - Fifteen years after being mothballed as a national embarrassment a newly refurbished satellite designed by Al Gore is ready to blast off into outer space.

A $95 million makeover sees GoreSat1 primed to orbit the planet for data gathering exercises - mainly of Al Gore sightings - while at the same time relaying cable cuts of the ex-Clinton Veep's greatest speeches.

Thousands of them.

Project managers at NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory handling Sunday's 6am launch said onboard cameras will snap multiple pictures of Mr Gore to be relayed home daily for humans to admire, 'much as Gore sought back in 1998'.

Tomorrow's launch comes amid Gore's recent reminiscences about a nasty bout of insomnia back in '98.

Apparently unable to sleep or interest Tipper Gore in some dreary matrimonial legover the former Vice President was suddenly struck with an audacious idea:

Launch a satellite that would beam back to Earth a continuous stream of live porn!

NO, wait! - Uh, a continuous stream of images of Al Gore strutting his stuff saving the planet.

And spouting important garbage about bloody global warming.

Commenting on the upcoming mission NASA's head of incoming solar particles said, "This is bound to make climate-change models even more scantily clad, something for which I am of course enormously grateful."

Tipper Gore's Himalayan Mastiff is seven and a half.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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