Written by Gee Pee
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Thursday, 5 February 2015

image for All the prezident's men
Prezident Obummer: a man's man

Barney Fife, former deputy sheriff of Mayberry, NC, and an "intimate associate" of Prezident Barry Obummer, is "stepping down as a longtime friend of the chief executive," the White House confirmed.

Although the White House would not "speculate" on why Fife is leaving, retired Mayberry sheriff Andy Taylor, who was once Fife's supervisor, said that Fife "has had enough of him."

Obummer is "bummed" to be losing such a trusted adviser, First Lady Michelle Obummer admits. "He's a good man to have around the House," she said, "and Barry is going to miss having him under his thumb."

Fife is "elated" to have serviced Obummer, but he said, "No one's irreplaceable, and I'm sure Barry will find someone else who both fits and fills his needs."

Others of the prezident's men have expressed similar sentiments upon discontinuing their servicing of Obummer.

"He's a hard man to please," David "The Axle" Rod admitted, "but, you know what they say: a hard man is good to find."

Oral communication expert David Puff (Obummer seems to have a yen for men named David or for men in general, for that matter), agreed with Rod. "Barry's not only a hard man, but a little thick, too, which is why he never wants to give an inch."

Michelle, whom the prezident sometimes calls "Michael," said she's "up" to the job of servicing her husband. "No man can give him what he needs the way this woman can."

"Alas, there is no truth to the rumor that David Ladderman will be joining my staff," Obummer lamented, "but let's just say that, if politics makes strange bedfellows from time to time, I wouldn't kick him out of bed if he does decide he wants a piece of me."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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