Written by Ben Dover
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Topics: Iraq, Afghanistan

Wednesday, 26 November 2003

image for Wal-Mart expands into Afghanistan and Iraq
Saddam: Satisfied Wal-Mart Customer...

In looking to keep "competitive", Wal-Mart, the great American store chain, has decided to invest in opening up stores in a number of locations across Afghanistan and Iraq.

"These are difficult economic times, but we (Wal-Mart) are forward-looking, trying to keep our edge and keep our customers happy." says Wal-Mart spokesperson Shelly Clay.

To keep the chain competitive, the new stores in these two countries will cater to the local population. They will be selling mostly munitions, small things like grenades, Flight Simulator software, and "big ticket" items like surface-to-air missiles, flame throwers, as well as custom-made strap-on explosives.

In the future, they may look into the ever-expanding field of specially crafted products such as chemical, and possibly nuclear, weapons.

When asked about any issues regarding who can purchase these items, spokesperson Clay states "Wal-Mart is apolitical and we sell to anyone who chooses to purchase our fine products at a fine lower-than-normal price."

Local wages and incomes are expected to rise greatly in both countries, topping about 25 cents (American) a year. Clay added, "We (Wal-Mart) feel proud to continue and bring our investment into these developing nations."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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