Written by Gee Pee
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Tuesday, 3 February 2015

image for Hairy Reid: "I may be down for the count, but don't count me out"
Reid, before blinding himself

Hairy Reid (D-NV), ousted as Senate majority leader by American voters in the last election and blinded by the light of divine revelation (God, allegedly, has shown Hairy that that it's way past time for him to surrender the reins of political power to a younger, clear-sighted, able-bodied man or woman) fights to hold on, both to his eyesight and his "legacy of power, privilege, and abuse."

Like Prezident Obummer, under whom Reid labored long and hard (and, some contend, thick), for years before his "leadership" was finally put to rest by voters, has both a pen and a phone, and he has been using them to try to bolster support among his constituents, many of whom reportedly considered the former majority leader "impaired" even before he injured himself, allegedly while sparring with himself in a shadow-boxing match that he lost-against himself!

Blind in one eye, the battered and embattled Democrat isn't winning many supporters, however, because of his petulance and short temper.

Used to getting how own way, at least while the Democrats were in charge of the Senate, during Obummer's first term and a half in office, Reid hangs up on anyone who disagrees with him, whether the other party is a fellow senator, a Congressman, an aide, a lobbyist, or one of his 2,790, 136 bosses, the citizens of Nevada who were stupid enough not only to elect him in the first place but to keep him in office for 28 years.

Reid, a "pistol" and a "fighter," by all accounts, has threatened to sue the construction company who built the wall that his opponent used as a fighting position from which to "ambush" him.

The shadow boxer, Reid says, "is as treacherous a fighter as George W. Bush," but he couldn't have "surprised me with his sucker punch if the builder hadn't built a wall in front of me."

Photographs of Reid show just how tired, worn-out, and old the injured has-been has become, and Reid fears that his constituents are reassessing whether they want to inflict him on the American people again when he hobbles for reelection the next time around.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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