A new energy proposal initiated by Republicans and included in the latest "Ryan" budget, just approved in the House, would require all senior citizens on Medicare, all people on Medicaid or on welfare, or unemployment insurance, or Food Stamps, and all federal prisoners, to generate electricity by pedaling on stationary bikes or walking on treadmills which would be installed by Haliburton.
Senate Speaker Mitch O'Connell commented: "The energy produced will help to replace our dependence on foreign oil. It will be environmental friendly, it will be cost efficient (no labor costs) and it will improve the health of folks who are adding heavily to our rising medical costs and who contribute very little to Society in general.
"The next phase of this plan would be the installation of "electricity sensitive carpeting" in nursing homes where the elderly could Shuffle along and generate static elecricity (Zap) in cases where exercise bikes or treadmills are not practical or for use by people not strong enough to bicycle or walk fast enough."
The Tea Party responded enthusiastically with Sarah Palin announcing: "NOW - this a perfect example of The GOP creating accountability for action among those folks who just do not pull their weight in America and I see no reason why youngsters from these dependent families can't jump on an electricity producing Treadmill like their loser families and reduce our dependency on them Foreigners! It will get their juices flowing in a positive direction!"
Ted Cruz was quick to announce; "And no reason why government employees can't generate some electricity on their lunch breaks!"
President Obama responded; "Electricity would be better applied to give these right wingnut idiots shock treatments!"