Following on from last weeks miracle brain surgery in which Martin Peters, 43 from Florida, successfully awoke from surgery which gifted him the use of two brains, he has since been offering us insights into his new life.
Peters, who has recently divorced from his wife Janine, looked in fine shape today when we interviewed his for The Spoof.
"The surgery has left me with an awesome amount of brain power. I must have the equivalent of at least 2 or 3 of those Pentium chips now. Not the Pentium 4s, oh no. More like the Celeron.
"I can multi-task much better now. For example, even though it appears that I'm talking to you - I am in fact watching the football on television behind you. I'm your basic Genius."
Peters is, indeed, a genius. Although to be honest, we're going mostly off what his doctors have been able to tell us, as opposed to what we've gleaned from him directly. That his story is a miracle is beyond doubt. In the week since his operation he has recovered incredibly well. The second brain which has been installed in his upper back like a hump, is healing well and though the donor is unknown, we believe that the family is accepting the change.
"It's funny, you know," began Peters, "before the change I couldn't stand any of that British crap food. Now, I love it - can't get enough of Ale Pie, Braised Dog or mushy peas. I can only assume my brain was donated by some British yob who came over to America as a stowaway on some kind of freight ship."
It does seem extraordinary that Peters has changed so wildly in his food tastes. Yet, there's something in me as a journalist that has to wonder: is this the best result we could have hoped for from a man with two brains? Clearly, the answer so far is: yes. Quid Pro Quo.