Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Legs

Friday, 26 December 2014

image for Woman Chews Leg Off Coyote Ugly Man

BILLINGSGATE POST: Should have known this would happen sooner or later. Police in Denver, Colorado reported that a dazed and bleeding Slim Everdingle was dumped off at the emergency ward of Colorado General Hospital minus his right leg. Shoved out of a Cadillac Esplanade with darkly tinted windows, Mr. Everdingle seemed unable to gain his footing after discovering that his right leg had been shortened by approximately 23 inches.

Hospital staff said that they saw a tall, beautifully endowed blond woman, wearing only a peek-a-boo nightgown, open the rear door of the Esplanade and pull the bleeding Everdingle out. Without even saying, "thanks for a nice evening," to the hapless Everdingle, she sped off into the blackness of the night.

When Slim gave his report to the police he mentioned that he had met some gal at the Kick Ass Bar and Pot Apothecary:

"Things went fine for a couple of hours. We was just getting acquainted. Had a few beers and a couple of Fire Ball shooters. Then the white coated 'Doctor' behind the bar asked if we wanted to try some Honolulu hash to sort of loosen our hibitations."

"Why sure, Doctor."

"Things got hazy from then on. The next thing I know I woke up watching my leg being chewed off by this beautiful blond."

"Whatcha doing that fer?"

"I couldn't wake you up, you ugly son-of-a-bitch."

PS: There is no moral to this story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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