Written by Ray Bellew
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Topics: Women

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

A group of men calling themselves Slimeballs Of Salvation are threatening to show up at various Sexy Susan Lingerie Shops and slime customers with boogers and worms unless Sexy Susan comes out with a line of lingerie for slimeball women.

Slimeball spokesman Stew 'The Saliva Man' Matthews said in a recent phone interview he wants the line to be called Slimy Babe Lingerie and is demanding that Sexy Susan's next televised fashion show be called Slimy Babes Sex It Up. "As slimy, disgusting men," he said, "we can attract nothing but slimy, disgusting women. We want them to look hot, or at least medium warm."

Sexy Susan CEO Brenda 'The Bux' Brandlewagon quickly agreed to meet the demands of the Slimeballs Of Salvation. "This group scares the crap out of me." She said. "The last thing Sexy Susan needs is a bunch of slimeballs throwing boogers and worms at our customers."

Stew 'The Saliva Man' Matthews called it a wise decision. President Obama, weighing in on the decision, simply said, "Unfortunately, slimeballs are here to stay. I have to deal with them on a daily basis."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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