BILLINGSGATE POST: Using the leverage gained from capturing the Sony computer network, Kim Jung Un announced today from Pyongyang that he has directed Sony's Board of Directors to replace the current CEO with his friend Dennis Rodman.
Mr. Rodman visited with Kim Jung this past March to discuss moving the LA Clipper franchise to Pyongyang, North Korea. At that time, Clipper owner Donald Sterling was in deep trouble for his racist remarks about African Americans. Smelling a windfall if he could unload the troubled franchise on his buddy Kim, Dennis put on his best ear-rings and hopped on board a plane to Pyongyang.
Kim Jung, the diminutive leader of North Korea, is a basketball junkie. He told Rodman that he would be willing to build a basketball arena with 1000 plush theater seats for himself and his girl friends. He also would give all television rights to the NBA and guarantee the rest of the league an amount equal to what the Clippers shared with the league in 2013. Price was no object.
The NBA declined his offer and sold the team to former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer for a paltry $2,000,000,000. Bidding farewell to his new best buddy, Kim Jung told Dennis that he appreciated his efforts, and down the line, he would take care of him.