Washington - A sinister cabal of Skull & Bonesmen masterminded CIA torture according to a leaked Israeli intelligence report.
The Mossad Canary Juice division analysed hundreds of hours of harsh CIA irrigations - uh, interrogations.
Their findings show masses of Bonesmen's crazy initiation hazings 'like rectally forcefeeding donuts via colonic irrigation pimps'. Pumps.
Aided and abetted by the Brits' notorious Hellfire Club the evil frat club plotted to lionize former Bonesmen George W Bush and Dick Cheney.
And honorary Skull & Bones Master of Ceremonies General Colon Bowel.
The 25,000-page Mossad report also fingers fantasists in the Yale University secret society's Hollywood Chapter for insisting on fine tuning the entire Iraq War blockbuster script.