Written by Auntie Jean
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

image for Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation
Balmoral Immoral?

An ex-kitchen servant has told of daily beatings by the gin soaked Queen mother at Balmoral, the Royal Family's private super palace. The maid, Eileen Over is writing the story of her traumatic time as a kitchen maid at the Scottish palace.

Beatings were given daily to the kitchen carpet dog after the Queen Mother had had her morning pint of Gordon's. Sometimes she would beat the kitchen staff accidentally after heavy drinking in the pouring rain, often staggering downstairs with a "Claymore" shouting and cursing. Live carpets consisting mainly of dogs were traditionally used in the servant's and slave's quarters at Balmoral.

Previously Eileen had written in her serialised book about the Queen Mother personally gouging out the eyes and teeth of poachers captured in the Estate grounds. Under a 1567 law passed to keep Scottish people from trying to gain independence, Monarch's mothers could personally mutilate poachers for killing or attempting to kill rabbits, salmon, deer and corned beef.

Make Auntie Jean's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

7 4 16 22
88 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more