Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Monday, 8 December 2014

image for Obama's Tooth Fairy Screwed Grandmother's False Teeth
Tooth Fairy

BILLINGSGATE POST: Milada Mae Jefferson, an 83 year-old grandmother living in Philadelphia received her mail-order false teeth from a dental supply company just last week. The poor lady had gone edentulous sometime in her late 50's and had been gumming her food for the past three decades.

Upon watching a late-evening commercial that showed a picture of Madonna smiling with all of her pearlies flashing, Milada said to herself that she wanted to look like that. Instructed to bite into a block of American Cheese and send the impression to a lab in Tijuana, Milada did so, along with a money order for $200.

Two weeks later her teeth were delivered as described. With a thankful smile she slapped the ersatz choppers in, and that evening she ordered a couple of slabs of baby back ribs to test her new chicklets. Relishing every bite between refreshing gulps of Diet Pepsi, she went through the ribs faster than pizza going through a dog's alimentary canal. Before going to bed she slipped her choppers out and placed these white jewels under her pillow, Milada went to bed believing that the tooth fairy would cover the cost of her teeth.

Enter the tooth fairy: With inflation being what it is, the usual pop is 10 bucks a tooth under ObamaCare. With 32 teeth in a normal upper-lower set of teeth, that would amount to $320. Harry the Fairy, who was on duty that night, didn't have all the cash, having spent it on lotto tickets on the way to her house. So he did the best he could, dropping a C-note under the lady's pillow with a note apologizing for the discrepancy.

Awakening the next morning, she couldn't wait to discovered her treasure. Her toothless smile dropped when she realized that the fairy's offering was $220 south of what she had expected. Trusting that she was being screwed by the ObamaCare Tooth Fairy, she called her grandson, Barry, and demanded that the president check into it.

The moral of this story: Don't bet that the government can solve all of your problems even if your grandson is the president.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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