Written by Auntie Jean
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Saturday, 29 November 2014

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Genuine Elvis

Worrying Elvis behaviour by North Korean Nutjob Kim Jong-un points to him being an escaped Elvis clone, according to leading conspiracy theorists.

In 2002, clones were illegally made from a frozen Elvis wart by disgraced Dr. Abu Mengelazar. Six clones quickly grew to maturity, but were confiscated by the C.I.A.

Allegedly North Korean secret agents stole one from Area 51 in Nevada. According to the theorists the clone embryo was dropped on the floor by assistant Frankenstein, Igor It-iii in North Korea. Kim Jong-un was susequently assassinated by an angry uncle over a poached egg dispute and the reconstructed Elvis brought up as the resident chief fruitcake.

Recent deliveries of bacon and cheese hamburgers, peanut butter and jello sandwiches, mountains of Swiss cheese and lakes of Cola have caused increased speculation that Kim Jong-un is a damaged Elvis clone.

Announcements that "Kim Jon-un is in the building over the P.A. systems when the headcase enters his palaces have not helped matters. U.K. cloning experts warned anyone considering trying out cloning at home not to use old warts, as they were not genetically 'true to type'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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