Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 19 November 2014

image for 'IS beheading jihadis suspected' as banker found RIP with throat slit at $1m NYC apartment
Cops are looking for the murder weapon

New York - Wild rumors are sweeping Manhattan that a Slittygroup - uh, CitiGroup! - banker found dead in the bathtub with his throat slit 'may have been topped by beheading jihadis'.

The 30-something specialist in environmental and social risk management lived at a plush million dollar downtown apartment a world away from IS fanatics notorious for recreational forays into decapitation.

Colleagues described him today as a pioneer in 'sustainable finance' (WTF dat? Wind farms and money for old rope? - Ed) and a specialist in emerging markets at the Russian Roulette end of the World Bank.

Commenting on the unexplained homicide a NYPD spokesperson said the perpetrator might be a local who's watched too many IS snuff movies.

Shares at the First Skull N Bones Bank fo the Sacred Caliphate jumped two cents on the news.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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