Written by Bad Granma
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 14 November 2014

image for Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers
Faster than light computer

Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazion. A spokesperson for Microhardon told our reporter. "The computers are so fast they can power life sized hologram versions of 'Grand Carjack 12 3D'. They take an hour to boot up though, you never get anything for nothing.

The operating system, Eagerbeaver 4 takes up all 100 Petabytes of hard drive space but is said to be worth it. None of your old software will work on it and it will be deleted. Everything is intended to be stored in 'The Fog', not on your computer. The idea being that you rent programs and storage space from Microhardon for an umreasonable monthly fee, that way you never have to worry about owning anything. It's all Microhardon's property. Your data can be accessed openly by the F.B.I or local cops at any time if you buy the basic version. For another $10000 in the Readybeaver Pro you are given 'real time' notice of F.B.I and M.I.6 snoops.

Microhardon C.E.O. Bob Fence told us "They will be pricey at first, around $20 000 for the no frills 'home basic' version with no desktop themes, but the price will come down once executives have all gotten their new Cadillacs."

Make Bad Granma's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 3?

9 5 24 7
82 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more