Written by Al N.
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Saturday, 8 November 2014

image for Republican Party to Reposition Themselves As Party of Sacrifice and Martyrdom
Congress DID relax standards for private jets however.

Washington, DC-Republican Party officials agreed that the party was full of sacrificing martyrs, who wish that they could be a positive force for change in the world but instead must stick to their mission of totally screwing over Obama until the end of his term.

"I wanted to introduce legislation that would provide clean water to the poorest regions of my district but it would have meant some positive legislation under Obama's watch and the party isn't going to let THAT happen," laughed an anonymous Midwestern Senator.

"I wanted to introduce new jobs to the people of my state but I couldn't of course, because they would kick me out of the party if I did something that might make Obama look good," said a Southern Representative.

"Maybe in two years when Obama is out of office we can pass something besides bills that benefit billionaires, but for now our hands are tied," spoke a Party official.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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