Written by Keith Shirey
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Sunday, 5 October 2014

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WOULD BE ISIS RECRUIT FITS NAME CHANGE

As the United States-led battle against radical forces rages in Iraq and Syria, a new linguistic front is emerging. Muslim groups in Europe and beyond are lashing out at the Islamic State in protests and on social media, advocating alternative ways to refer to the militants, now known by an alphabet soup of labels including ISIS, ISIL, IS and SIC. Such labels infuriate the militant group itself.

Ban Ki-moon, the secretary general of the United Nations, who despises the group call the "Un-Islamic Nonstate." That acronym would be UINS.

But now ISIS, ISIL, IS, SIC OR UNIS has re-named itself. Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarrai, the chief beheader of the terrorist organization says that, in order to more effectively fight the infidel, there will be a change of name.

"From now on we shall call ourselves the al-Sham Harziya Islamdanesh State or SHIT, " said Ibrahim ibn Awwad ibn Ibrahim ibn Ali ibn Muhammad al-Badri al-Samarra. "Calling us SHIT is preferable to calling us ISIS or some other name. It just suits us better," he said.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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