Written by Keith Shirey
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Thursday, 2 October 2014

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TABLE FAVOR WITH DIAMONDS UNDERNEATH

Global Motors Executives who either ignored or engaged in a cover up of defective cars with airbag, break, steering and ignition problems, which caused deaths and injuries to many, have been on a retreat in Indianapolis, Indiana.

It is an enclave of an exclusive suburb of Indianapolis. While staying in luxury mansions, they visit the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

There, while sipping 40-year-old single malt scotch or vintage wines, and grazing on various delicacies, they watch as speeding Chevy Cobalts and other defective cars, race around the track. They wager on which car will first crash and burn.

But the favorite of events is a parade of 1957 iconic Cadillacs with Death's Heads affixed to the hoods of the automobiles. People in various Halloween skeleton costumes drive the cars, which is only appropriate for the forthcoming holiday which is almost equal to Christmas, in terms of excitement, in Christian America.

When discovered by this reporter laughing, spilling drinks, and slapping one another's shoulders, one executive, Buster Keaton, said to me, "Come on, even the super-rich deserve some fun."

But he laughed, "If you report on this, we'll find you and make you drive a classic Corvair with Ralph Nader's picture on the side doors."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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