Written by rimisaC
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 27 September 2014

image for Skincare manufacturer to sell lotion bottle with built-on screen for porn-viewing
Just rub it in

Junguns Skincare Products announced that they will soon release lotion that comes in a bottle with a 4 ½ high-definition screen attached to it.

Additionally, the bottles will have audio and Wi-Fi capabilities. They will be an industry first and are expected to reach shelves across the U.S. by mid-October.

A recent survey conducted by an adult website revealed that Junguns hand lotion was the most preferred lotion by men to aid masturbation.

In response, Junguns, which is owned by Kao Corporation, created a product that they thought would appropriately suit their newly identified customer base.

"We really wanted to put our product in the customer's hand," said Junguns chief product engineer, Bob Tilly. "And so far, initial results gathered from product testing have been shown that people really like it."

The bottle with a screen attached, said Tilly, gives men the utmost convenience during masturbation.

"No longer will guys have to go and look through their girlfriend's or even their mom's toiletries in order to find some lotion to masturbate with," Tilly pointed out. "And likewise, now men will have everything they need in one spot to get the deed done."

Tilly also revealed that Junguns plans to test a bottle that has a screen and an attached tissue dispenser to completely aid men with self-pleasure.

However, that project is still in its incipient stages, confirmed the company.

Furthermore, Tilly asserted that the new bottles aren't just for men. "Some early-product tests have revealed that women really like this product, too," he said. "Now, if their boyfriend or husband wants a quick hand-job, women can use this screen to keep watching a movie or TV show they were watching, while at the same time, still satisfy their man."

In similar news, a farmer in California recently announced that he will soon sell cucumbers with Wi-Fi-capable screens attached to them for women to use during self-pleasure.

Make rimisaC's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

4 3 15 23
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more