Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 5 September 2014

A formerly injured horse, Pastorius II romped home by 13 lengths at Chepslow this afternoon. Six months ago, the horse was about to be shot after it jumped over a grass cutting machine, losing four legs below the "knee". A relative of Oscar Pistolius, the famous prosthetic legged footballer witnessed the accident and had a U.S. Supervet fit four spring assisted artificial legs.

Gasps of astonishment were heard from the crowd as the horse appeared without the spring legs. Just before "The Off" the legs were fitted. After starters orders the super-horse rapidly led the field by 30 lengths, then jumped over the two leaders to finish first by thirteen lengths. A Marshall's inquiry found no evidence of a breach in competition rules. People were seen walking away from on course bookies clutching briefcases packed with cash until all the betting counters closed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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