Written by Jackson Hoff
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Sunday, 31 August 2014

Tom's River, NJ -- Long Beach Island, NJ is a perennial popular summer resort island just a few miles north of Atlantic City. Every season, vacationers from all points make the trek to enjoy the sun, the surf, the cooling ocean breezes and the shopping that such a place offers. Folks leave their cares on the mainland as they cross the only bridge on and off of the island. And this summer is no different from those past. Shop owners and restaurateurs are enjoying one of the best seasons in recent memory.

So when OccupyLBI movement, assumed dead by all, unexpectedly converged at the North Beach Haven Township building, it took everyone by surprise. Tens of protesters marched to the beach badge booth adjacent to the building and stood together in solidarity as some purchased several day passes. Shouts of "Occupy LBI" were met with opposing shouts from angry vacationing families, and without the quick actions of the local law enforcement, might have very possibly spun out of control.

"It was touch and go for a few minutes there", said a township official who preferred to remain anonymous. "Some of the protesters were standing in the street, just off the sidewalk. It wasn't a big deal at the time, but laws are laws. So we beeped at them with our car horns to make them get back onto the sidewalk." When asked if the OccupyLBI people had acquired a permit, he said that he thinks they did, but that he would have to check his desk drawer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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