The first lady has denied scraping the paintwork of her husband's vintage Rolls-Royce on the White House gate while trying to avoid running over a pigeon yesterday.
Rumors that she applied eyeliner and nail color to disguise the damaged bodywork, before using a Wallmart home car body repair kit were strongly denied this morning. I did not do these things and the press photographs show me actually just removing pigeon droppings which were on the windshield and hood, honestly. I have had strong words with the gardeners, asking them to remove pigeons from the Presidential access gate areas. This is not Mary Poppins its the Goddam White House.
A local garage told our reporter that a black vintage Rolls-Royce car was having a long scratch repaired, but agreed with the First Lady's explanation that the damage was superficial and must have been there all the time.