Written by John_L
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Thursday, 28 August 2014

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A cat. Not Hello Kitty

A Tokyo man was jailed today for abducting the children's character Hello Kitty from a playground in Tokyo in May.

The man Masahno Takakity had attempted to argue that his actions were justified as he was a scientist investigating the work of Erwin Schrödinger. A theoretical physicist who posed the question that if a cat was placed in a box with no food and water how could you be sure that the cat was either alive or dead without opening the box.

When police arrested Takakity he was in the process of placing Hello Kitty into a coffin like box. He had several injuries to his face and arms where Kitty had attempted to defend herself. However he was able to subdue her.

He explained in court that his plan was to use Kitty in the experiment and that he would have let her out before she dies as the box had a camera in it.

However the prosecution presented incontrovertible evidence to the court that Hello Kitty is not in fact a cat at all, but is a little girl who just happens to have pointy ears and whiskers.

After reviewing the evidence the judge ruled that Takakity was guilty of child abduction and imprisonment and would be forced to serve out a jail sentence in the Woody Allen wing of Takyo's main jail.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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