GAWK, NEW YAK -- Nadine Gary, president of GoTopless compaign, protested the comments that some spectators made concerning Go Topless Day--or, more specifically, concerning those who participated in the event. "They had the audacity to rate our boobs!"
Gary, who herself received a 3.2 on a 5-point scale, said the purpose of Go Topless Day is (besides going topless) to protest societies' prohibition of toplessness by women when the right to go topless by men is both socially acceptable and legal.
"It's discriminatory," Gary said, "and such, as a double standard, it sends the wrong message to our children, implying that there is a difference between men and women."
"Whether they belong to a man or a woman, a chest is a chest, she maintained, and breasts are breasts."
By rating participants' bosoms, Gary said, "the emphasis is on our mammaries, not our message."
"That's funny," a male bystander quipped. "I thought the message was the mammaries."
Men who support the movement wore brassieres or bikini tops. "Not because we're queers or cross dressers," Aaron Smith noted, "but because, otherwise, we'd go completely unnoticed among all these titties."
In addition, he said, "we cover our chests to show why women shouldn't have to."
"Huh?" Gary asked, clearly mystified by her fellow Go Topless participant's statement. "Don't be a boob!"
Note: This article, sponsored by Toplessness Is YOUR Right, contrary to popular belief, does not include subliminal references to breasts or to toplessness.