Written by Gee Pee
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Tuesday, 26 August 2014

MALLEABLE MALIBU -- Olympic has-been, athlete Bruce Jenner has become obsessed with wearing women's undergarments, which have led to rumors, allegedly spread by his wife Kris (note the masculine name of his bitter half), that the former track-and-field star may be considering a sex-change operation.

According to the best friends of Kendall and Kylie, the couple's daughters, Dear Old Dad may be about to become Mommy Dearest II.

"He'd grown his hair long," one of the girls' friends gushed.

"And he gets his nails done more often than Kendall and Kylie," another bosom buddy declared.

If the rumors about Jenner are true, he's had more done than that - a LOT more.

Stories about Malibu, where he makes his home, insist that Jenner has had facial reconstructive surgery, has had his Adam's apple shaved, takes female hormones, and has had implants installed in both his breasts and buttocks.

"Bruce is becoming quite a lovely lady," Jenner's hairdresser maintained. "He's prettier than Kris, now."

Jenner's favorite, among ladies' unmentionables, is Spanx, body-slimming underwear that ladies don to slim and smooth their tummies. Allegedly, Jenner prefers the Haute Contour, which includes a lace thong in pink and other "feminine colors that will make your man blush."

Jenner is reportedly not bothered by the rumors of his desire to be a woman. "I love women," he said, "and, unless your name happens to be Clint Eastwood or Arnold Schwarzenegger, you'd still be only half the man I am even if I were to become a woman."

Asked about their father's supposed desire to become a second mother to them, Kendall and Kylie said, "We will love him no matter what she decides to do."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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