Written by Catchthisdrift
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Topics: Obesity, Surgery, GPS, urinate

Friday, 22 August 2014

image for Obese Man Uses GPS To Find His Penis
Man can use his smartphone to find his penis.

In a medical and technological first, doctors at Bueller University Hospital have implanted a GPS signaling device in the head of the penis of a severely obese man. The surgery was performed earlier this week. The man's name is being withheld in order to protect his privacy.

The implant allows the man to more easily find his penis using his smartphone or computer. The man was chosen for the experimental surgery because he has for years been reporting to his doctors that he often urinates himself because he can't find his penis in time.

The head of genital surgery at Bueller, Dr. Velpya Vinedit, said the man was the perfect candidate because he was severely obese which meant his penis was covered with layers of rolls of stomach fat, plus the man's penis was relatively small, making it all that much harder to find.

Said Dr. Vinedit, "The surgery was a complete success. Our patient is able to locate his penis easily using the GPS location finder on his smartphone. He hasn't urinated himself even one time since the device was implanted."

The man is reported to be overjoyed with the results, telling nurses the surgery has been a blessing because before the surgery he would have to literally go exploring trying to find his penis, which he often found only after he urinated. Nurses confirmed that the man does indeed have a small penis.

The device's battery is projected to last at least 10 years. Dr. Vinedit commented that the battery life should be more than sufficient because it was unlikely the man would live even half that long.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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