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Wednesday, 6 August 2014

image for Neighbors Arrested After Misunderstanding Over Whose Grass Is Greener
Gennifer Wong's home, in which she ices her genitals.

Springtown - Two local Springfield neighbors in The Heights neighborhood were arrested yesterday after an argument over whose grass was greener turned violent.

Barbara Helmsley and Gennifer Wong share a property line and were talking to each other on the sidewalk running along their properties. Reportedly the women were talking about their respective fitness gyms when Helmsley off-handedly said "well, the grass is always greener on the other side." Ms. Helmsley later stated that she was talking about the particular exercise equipment at each gym and how Wong's gym had a machine that Helmsley wished her own gym had. However, Wong interpreted the statement as being a sarcastic remark concerning the grass in their actual yards. Helmsley has been using a lawn service all year which has resulted in a thick, lush, inviting carpet of grass in front of her house. Wong on the other hand tends to ignore her yard except for mowing after she receives a notice of complaint from the city.

Sidney Trump, who was walking her dog along the same sidewalk, heard Wong proclaim a series of profanities directed at Helmsley and then throw her to the ground, mount her, and deliver a series of blows to Helmsley's face. Helmsley launched into her own profanities directed at Wong, flipped Wong over her head, and started kicking her in the groin.

A resident across the street had dialed 911 and police arrived during the groin-kicking. While the exact statement cannot be reproduced in this publication, Wong was covering her genitals with both hands yelling "oh my {deleted}. As Wong does not own a cat, it is assumed she was using a colloquialism for her lady bits.

Both women were released on their own recognizance, with orders to not interact while they wait on a court date.

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