Written by NerdInBriefs
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Monday, 4 August 2014

image for Celebrities attack selfish Palestinians for caring more about their lives under siege, than their Hollywood careers

Hollywood celebrities have brought the streets of downtown to a standstill asking for the Palestinians to stop being so self obsessed, stop playing the victim card and let some other less contentious world issue dominant the Tv screens and news agenda.

Following a round of high profile celebrities criticising Israeli actions recently and then their awkward attempts to reassure the US public that they were not taking sides a few days later, today these celebs marched to a very different beat.

Anger stemmed from Palestinians allowing themselves to suffer for far far too long, 'like an awful South American telenovela' said one Hispanic star and not realising that in the Hollywood hills, under the effects of the Southern Californian heat, Hollywood actors on the whole, with their agents away on holiday, operated in a dangerous zone were they could slip and show their humanity.

'Being me, is something I've had to learn to control real hard in this town and then something like this crops up that threatens to blow our whole career off the radar,' cited one very distraught actress who wished to be unnamed.

European actors have been also blamed for stirring up pro Palestinian sentiments on this side of the pond. However even these more well read European stars admit that they wished they had grown up in the US watching Fox News, it would have been far better for my career and stopped me opening my big mouth.

Some of those leading the demonstrations today, held placards saying enough is enough and stop exploiting their liberal heart, we are here to work not change the world.

So what were the angry crowds asking. The general consensus has been for the gazans to pull themselves together, sort out their own rubble, act more like crazy Arabs in front of the cameras and remember the suffering entertainment industry that was fighting its own war against other tyrants like illegal pirating of films.

The right wing press however had a field day, saying that this was all a case of liberal crocodile tears, trying to save their careers having realised they'd come across as anti Israeli, whilst secretly learning Arabic and acting as fundraisers for Palestinian terrorists.

One meme has circulated on the internet of an actors tearful act at the front of the march, saying this over dramatic performance, were just like the gazans on camera over the last few weeks. This was proof to many on social media, that Hollywood had been secretly training the Palestinians for months earlier this year, how to act in front of the camera to make the world feel guilty.

Meanwhile Justin bieber got into trouble.... Having tweeted something on the Hamas leader's wife which whilst being laughed off around the world for the first few hours, was shockingly not denied by either party. In the last few moments, a joint statement from bieber and Hamas, asked for the media to respect their privacy in these searching times.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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