Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Books, Trolls, Troll

Monday, 4 August 2014

image for Goodreads Troll Spends Three Months Writing Review
Just Waiting For The Sequel So She Can Review It - Not Than Anyone Gives A Shit

A prolific book reviewer on popular website (and troll cave) 'Goodreads' has finally completed writing her 40,000 word, 1 star review for New York Times bestselling novel "The Gordonston Ladies Dog Walking Club" - calling her review a "masterpiece" but the book "utter crap."

Beth Varicose, 57 - morbidly obese, ugly, sex-starved and who drives around Wal-Mart in one of those little electrical shopping carts; described the book as "One of the worse books ever written. I hated it, I hate the author, I hated the whole concept. Why did I waste 4 days and $1.99 on this garbage."

Varicose, who lives alone in North Florida, apart from a herd of cats - one of which she breast feeds - dedicated not only 3 months to writing her review but let it consume her whole life, or, what there is of it. Posting under the "troll" pseudonym "Miss Demeanor" she complains "What I hated most was the author, he is an atheist, he swears a lot, he is so god dam good looking and he ignores my tweets, my e-mails and for that I want everyone to join me in hating him and his book."

She then goes on to use multiple exclamation marks.

At time of press her review has been read twice; and failed to influence anyone from purchasing the book.

Varicose, according to her profile photo on "Goodreads", enjoys cakes and sports a very unsightly mustache, is expected to start on another 1 star review soon - as soon as the sequel to the "worse book ever' is published.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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