Washington D.C. - President Obama today revealed he has decided to embark on a two-and-a-half year long vacation, and return to his job one day before his second term expires - just to tie up any loose ends before leaving office.
The announcement was met with mixed reviews from both parties. Most Democrats responded with a sense of surprise saying, "I thought he was already on vacation? So, is he extending his vacation or is he considering this a separate vacation?"
All Republicans responded saying, "This is the best thing for the country. We can do a better job of solving our problems with him on vacation. When he gets involved in anything, all he does is make things worse."
First Lady Michelle Obama didn't want to be bothered with semantics. "On vacation, not officially on vacation? Who cares? Let's go! Mama's got tax-payer dollars burnin' a hole in her purse!"
The President's announcement essentially leaves the states in charge of the country for at least the next few months. Until Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid can be removed from his position, there will be no compromise on major issues in Congress.
Leaders from around the world reacted to the vacation news with barely a raised eyebrow. Most considered the President to have been mentally on vacation for years now.
When 17 year-old White House spokesman, Josh Earnest, was asked about whether the President intended to be around for the November midterm elections, Earnest laughed and replied, "If you were Custer, would you want to sit and watch an upcoming massacre?"
The President has left word with his staff that if anything really important happens, like the NCAA basketball tournament or if Miley Cyrus plans on doing something outrageous on stage again, he can be reached at Jay-Z's crib.