Written by D P Whitehead
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Topics: Good Samaritan

Monday, 28 July 2014

A good Samaritan, who helped an old lady across a busy street in Fort Lauderdale, has been revealed to be a total and utter 'cunt' by family members, and not the caring passer-by who helps old people.

"When I read about this 'Good Samaritan', who stopped traffic and helped an old woman across the street I thought he sounded like a nice guy," explained Jane Broom, "but when I saw it was my husband Dave I thought 'hang on a minute', he is a lazy twat, unemployed, drunk and a petty thief. What the fuck?"

Others are also shaking their heads in disbelief. Dave's brother John told me "Oh come on, why all this fuss? What the hell is a good Samaritan anyway? Dave is a slob, I actually hate his guts, we all do, please stop the 'hero' talk. He is a tool."

Meanwhile, little old lady, Marge Shrivelhead, reported her wallet missing and her credit cards stolen and used to pay for online porn videos, beer and cigarettes.

Dave Broom refused to comment on this story as he was 'out of his head and tired from masturbating all day'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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