Moscow - Russian President Putin has become bored with not having a worthy adversary on the foreign policy landscape due to President Obama's lack of interest in world affairs. The Russian leader always welcomes a challenge and believes having a United States that at least pretends to care is in the world's interest.
To this end, Mr. Putin has come up with a plan to pull President Obama out of the shadows and hit him the one place that will surely get the president's attention: carpet bombing America's upscale golf courses.
17 year-old White House spokesman, Josh Earnest, has already reacted to the rumors by stating, "That's not funny. You don't even joke about doing that."
The mood around the White House has indeed taken on a serious tone since word of the aggression leaked out. President Obama has ordered all available military personnel and equipment to finer golf courses, putting greens and Putt-Putts across the country.
Mr. Obama has also cancelled all fundraising activities and vacation plans to return immediately to the White House Situation Room. Mrs. Obama is reportedly livid about the change in the president's schedule but said, "Neither hell nor high water is going to keep me from another vacation!"
"Russia can do what they want in other parts of the world," President Obama angrily remarked, "but our pristine golf courses are off limits! I'll see Mr. Putin in Hell before I preside over any damage at Augusta!"
President Putin, sensing he had gotten under President Obama's skin with this tactic, has jokingly agreed to have his bomber pilots and missile launching personnel yell, "Fore!" just before firing their weapons.
This latest move by President Putin has ratcheted up the tension between the two powerful countries to its highest level since the final battle scene in the movie Red October.