Written by E. Williams
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Tuesday, 22 July 2014

image for Illegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls

McAllen, TX - A Honduran woman accidentally let the cat out of the bag yesterday when she unwittingly explained to a reporter the real reason she and tens of thousands of her fellow Latin American citizens travelled thousands of miles was for the hope of scoring one of Glenn Beck's free soccer balls.

"We knew if we came all this way, Mr. Beck would have pity and supply us all with free soccer balls. I guess we just got caught up in World Cup fever. Now, it really doesn't seem to have been worth the trip."

"My son said he was hot blooded, told me to check it and see. He had a fever of a hundred and three. Turns out he just had World Cup fever too."

Lately, "futbols" have been hard to come by in Central and South America and the immigrants probably felt they were just going to get a great deal on a loss leader, but many have now decided to stay if they can.

Mr. Beck is determined to give away thousands of free soccer balls and, in addition, President Obama is willing to throw in free 'everything else' to the illegals on top of that.

It's a pretty sweet deal if you can get it. Free healthcare, clothing, food, transportation, shelter and a free soccer ball to boot.

Many on the Right have suggested the lax border security of the Obama administration has been one big ploy to accumulate countless new Democratic voters for future elections.

However, it now appears the plot is even more sinister than first thought - Illegal immigrants have been sent to our country to cram soccer down American's throats, whether we like it or not.

If soccer takes hold and eventually becomes the most popular sport in the country it will be on Glenn Beck's head. That's enough to make anybody cry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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