Written by E. Williams
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 19 July 2014

image for Majority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?

Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country.

But why would any child want to live their life in an asylum? Those places are scary and filled with mentally ill patients who, for the most part, are peaceful people who don't mean to harm others. However, it seems like a strange choice.

Inigo Montoya, the Spanish swordsman from 'The Princess Bride' said, "I do not think that word means what those kids think it means."

It kind of makes sense in a way since the kids will have all of their needs met and the bill will be picked up by the American taxpayer.

Also, living in an asylum in America may be a step up from what these kids are used to in their home countries.

Nancy Pelosi for once had a good idea yesterday when she suggested we house the kids at Alcatraz. Mrs. Pelosi cares more about the children than any other living American and this way they would be close to her home district in San Francisco and she could keep an eye on them. What a true humanitarian she is.

Many feel that Pelosi feels a strong connection to the kids since she should already be living in an asylum herself.

Government officials have remained mum on the possible locations of asylums that might be used to house the immigrants but most of them are probably pretty creepy places.

This could be one of the strategies: To take the kids to these places at which time they will decide that life south of the border is not so bad after all.

That clever government of ours! They never cease to amaze me.

P.S. - During further research, I have discovered that the word asylum has another meaning. That's strange. Why would the kids choose life in an asylum instead of gaining protection granted by a nation to someone who has left their native country as a political refugee? Weird.

Make E. Williams's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 4?

6 15 20 5
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top