Written by Gl1tch_In_Human1ty
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Topics: Health, Food, Manhattan

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

image for Manhattan Island Sinks Beneath Hudson
"no more of these"

Due to the increase in beverage and meal portion sizes in restaurants, there was a noticeable increase in water levels around the island of Manhattan.

The locals were too busy eating their XTRA-LARGE beverages and Big Macs to notice that their island was sinking. It is believed that the island has been sinking at a rate of 1 millimeter per year.

In order for the island to stop sinking, the locals would have to start eating salads only, with no fatty dressings, meaning NO BACON either.

Leading experts believe that if the locals continue to eat as they are now, by 2017, the island's sinking rate will triple.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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