Washington D.C. - The Federal Bureau of Prisons (FBP), the agency that manages the system of Federal prisons, has added "Shower Love" as an elective to it's in-house inmate education program. The addition of the course is intended to foster closer more intimate relationships amongst inmates.
Other courses added to the curriculum this fall are "Removing Tough Stains Using a Broken Soap Shiv", "100 Ways to Spice Up Gruel" and "Anger Management."
A spokesman for the FBP said "We envision 'Shower Love' being taken in conjunction with 'Anger Management.' It really serves all inmates. We know shower love is going to happen multiple times daily in every one of our facilities. We want to make sure people are doing it safely, and frankly, since it's inevitable, we want to maximize the pleasure for both men. As for taking 'Anger Management' in conjunction, the person committing shower love is most likely angry and needs to work on that anger, and the person who gets loved in the shower could very well come away from the experience feeling angry. It's a sad situation. Both parties end up angry and that does not help the overall happiness level of the inmates in general. However, to try to balance that, making sure the shower love is done better helps the level of happiness. It's an unfortunate circle, but it is reality."
The "Removing Tough Stains Using a Broken Soap Shiv" course is intended to not only help the inmates keep their clothes clean, but should cut expenses by using soap more efficiently.