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Friday, 11 July 2014

image for Massive Mexican red rump tarantula on the run in NYC: reported sighting at Kerry Kennedy condo
Up to 2000 young are expected to hatch any day now

New York - A mean-looking pregnant giant Mexican red rump tarantula, Brachypelma vagans, on the loose in Park Slope, NYC, has been reported scurrying close to the human frights lawyer's home.

This morning CCTV cameras picked up strange arachnid movements in the air con plant that serves the Kennedy apartment block just as NY breakfast TV broke news of the tarantula's rampage.

Janitors at the North West Brooklyn property reportedly rang 911 amid frantic residents' fears that the eight-legged fugitive is likely carrying up to 2000 young.

Which she intends to farrow in the building's air con ducts.

Commenting on the sighting a spiderologist at New York Zoo said today that there's nothing that the feisty Mexican critters like better than burrowing into a damp, moist crevice before giving birth to their babies.

Last year an entire colony of Brachypelma vagans was discovered dug in inside a famous film star's snatch during a routine dilation and curettage (D&C) op at the Seedy Sign Eye Hospital.

A rogue tampon later took the rap.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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