Written by queen mudder
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Topics: George W. Bush

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

image for Dubya's Predator Chapel Ranch an Architectural Digest listing
Satellite street view imagery shows a total wreck

Crawford, Texarse - Bush's Texan teardown was listing at 90 degrees today according to readers' reflux reactions to the Architectural Digest feature.

The glossy rag is rumored to have been paid a hefty six figure sum by the ex-president to make Predator Chapel Ranch look des res ahead of an upcoming sale.

Emergency licks of paint and the installation of chi-chi velveteen drapes apparently transformed the property internally despite a satellite Street View image showing a total wreck.

Realtors previously estimated the demolition costs outweighed any commercial value the house may have on the open market after radon gas was found oozing from surrounding grounds.

Which rules out fracking and prospecting for gold.

Last year neighbors recalled how Bush once very nearly destroyed the family home, maybe as part of an insurance scam.

Apparently he built an improvised distillery in the basement which saw a vat of corn mash accidentally tipped into an open petrol tank.

The shebeen was quickly shut down after Laura Bush put her foot down and frogmarched Georgie Boy to the nearest AA meet.

Click here for pics of the latest makeover, stylised by local Crawford interior design genius Mortician Alpaca.

All frights reserved.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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