Written by Jeff Brone
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Wednesday, 2 July 2014

The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law.

A spokesperson for the state highway authority said that "while he realizes that certain situations require texting while driving, such as emergency trips to an Old Navy store or relaying information on what restaurant one is planning to visit, the situation has gotten out of hand. If you're involved in a serious crash, please, put the phone down."

Some Nebraskans hailed the law as "a good step forward" but some worried that it was too restrictive. One driver noted that "important information, such as hospital, end of life or funeral preferences could be hard to convey if texting wasn't an option at such a "text sensitive" time.

President Obama said the law seemed like an acceptable one to him, as long as it didn't allow for any racial profiling. Vice President Biden was eating ice cream at the time the law was passed and declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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