Written by E. Williams
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Topics: scandal, IRS, Excuses

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Rio Linda, CA - People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, "My dog ate my homework", when wanting to excuse why they didn't do their homework.

Now, thanks to the IRS scandal, "My hard drive crashed" has become the number one, go-to excuse for any number of screw-ups, cover-ups, or to mask outright laziness for not wanting to complete a school project or work assignment.

"It's great!" exclaimed college student Lazy Lisa. "I can use it anytime I want. Who's going to know? It's a godsend and will get me out of all sorts of jams, both legal AND illegal!"

Americans have already begun to use the excuse for a myriad of situations although some are having trouble being selective about when the excuse is appropriate to use.

Bart Sampson, a millennial idiot, was unsuccessful in using the excuse to get out of a speeding ticket recently. "The cop didn't buy it. He cited me for speeding, being a douchebag, and not being bright enough to have a license in the first place."

Ron Cooper recently found out the excuse also doesn't work when trying to cover-up a marital affair. "I used the excuse to my wife but she told me she found out about the affair I was having by reading my mistresses emails on our "non-crashed hard drive." I found out the hard way it doesn't work in every situation."

Stan Cooper, a high school junior, was just as unlucky. "I flew too close to the sun and got burned, man. I was trying to one-up the IRS Commissioner by combining excuses. I told my teacher that my dog ate my hard drive but she called my parents out of concern and found out our dog was fine."

Stan is currently serving out his week long stint in after school detention.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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