Written by E. Williams
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Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Washington D.C. - This week has not been kind to Gollum and his "precious" agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner's relevant emails.

The goblin was arrogant, disrespectful, and slobbering throughout the questioning by members of Congress who are trying to get to the heart of the IRS targeting scandal.

Many believe Gollum is presiding over a cover-up to protect Ms. Lerner and possibly the White House. The session became heated at times and Gollum bared his fangs on several occasions.

Members of Congress were puzzled by some of the language coming from the cave-dwelling commissioner. Several times he referred to Congressmen Issa and Gowdy as "sneaky little Hobbitses" and he also called President Obama "Master" throughout the hearings.

Commissioner Gollum appears to fancy himself as "Lord of the Emails" and is enjoying giving his ring finger to the American people and Congress.

When asked specifically about Lerner, the big-headed bald thing corrected the Congressional questioners saying, "You mean The Dark One." Gollum also referred to Lerner as "Sauron."

During the hearing, Gollum asked several times if the panel members were really Orcs in disguise. When told Orcs don't wear suits and neckties, he still seemed to remain very suspicious of everyone.

The disgusting creature remained defiant that his precious agency had not been involved in any wrongdoing and that Gandalf was the one behind the missing email mystery.

Members of the Congressional Oversight Committee were debating whether to subpoena Gandalf and bring him in for questioning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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