Republicans today outlined several new planks in their 2016 Presidential Platform,designed to reassure conservatives. Number one is that no more women will be allowed to enter the White House, not even the First Lady.
It will become a male only club and only on Saturday nights when of course pole dancers will be allowed, will women have access to the White House.
Another plank sets out the Republican Education plan for the future of the country. "We are eliminating the Department of Education and all Federal Education Funding. We have proposed this before, but this time we really mean it!!!" said Senator McCain, "Who says we don't have ideas??"
When reminded that if he had been elected, Sarah Palin might have taken exception to not being allowed in the White House, McCain said, "Is Sarah really a woman? I mean she shoots guns and stuff....Just asking, I mean I guess there are ways of checking?"