Written by Al N.
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Topics: cult

Monday, 16 June 2014

image for The Last Days of Scamatology
The Fleecewinds, advertised as just updated to the 19h Century!

Clearly Criminal, FL In what are viewed as the last days of the criminal organization known as $camatology, the last few followers are scheduled to get on the termite infested, asbestos filled, rotting "cruise ship" The Fleecewinds for the "Kool-Aid Cruise." This is what it has been dubbed by David Makemerich, the cult's erstwhile leader.

Strangely, the cult's leader has announced that he will not be on the cruise due to his need to convert all of the cult's assets into gold bullion which he will take to his new home, an unidentified fortress island.

The cult had fallen onto bad times in recent years, as their deepest, darkest secrets began to be on more websites than the Masons.

When it was revealed that their O-O (pronounced "oh-oh") level was a crazy space opera story centered on the evil god HuNu? and that it was required to read and believe the crazy story to advance further in the cult, many of the members fell out of their trance and ran screaming into the night, many never to be seen again.

However, the most famous celebrities turned out to have the most washable brains and most came through the O-O Level unscathed except for maybe a few sorely needed brain cells. Surviving celebrities included Krusty Dark Alley, Tommy Girl, and Just Revolting who seem to be no longer aware of anything happening in the cult beyond the Famous People Only Center that is run by Scamo slaves.

One of the most effective ways that Mr. Makemerich was able to take all the money from his former "whales" before setting them adrift was an ingenious scam called the Idle Morgue scam, where he had each remaining group cough up their last dollars to purchase expensive real estate and then deed it to the cult. If they had any money left, the cult would soak them for renovations.

The U.S. Coast Guard and the Rinder Helicopter Rescue Service was sent out to retrieve the already sinking vessel but each passenger insisted that they had to stay there "in order to reach the next level."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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